DBNN – Girls Clamoring over Rihanna’s New Look
DBNN – Drunken Bastard News Network
(Los Angeles) Girls across America are going ga-ga over Rihanna’s new “Chris Brown” inspired look.
“Just look at those lips.” Exclaimed Jennifer Martin, “They’re so full they’re split; it’s hard to believe she hasn’t had collagen injections.”
What started out as assault and battery has turned into fastest rising trend in the united states . Teenage girls are begging their boyfriends to “Rihannanize them” by backhanding, bitchslapping, old school punching, or any other blunt force trauma to the face.
“I mean check out sultry swollen blackish blue eye, those come hither bruises on her cheek bones, you just can’t get that look from makeup… unless your Rick Baker that is” Jennifer concluded.
For those girls that don’t have a boyfriend, Covergirl is coming out with a new compact/ball bat combination simply called “Chris”, it’s new slogan, “Abusively Beautiful Covergirl”