“You know me and Norma broke up?” Jeff was tellin’ me while we were ridin’ in the back of his sister’s car. The reason we were ridin’ in the backseat was because Norma was ridin’ shotgun.

“Really?” I said as I looked towards Norma who was oblivious to our conversation.
“And does she know about this?” I asked.
“Of course she does silly. She’s cool with it… We decided to remain friends,” Jeff answered back confidently.

“Well, that’s good that ya’ll can be civil about it,” I said as I checked to make sure the door wasn’t locked just in case.
“So where are we goin’?” I asked.
“Where we always go… Party Zone.”

Party Zone was a bar in Chattanooga, Tennessee that had shitty music, shitty bartenders, and shitty clientele; but it did have one thing goin’ for it… “The Beer Bash”.

The Beer Bash was basically all the draft beer you can drink for five dollars; with our limited funds, and our unquenchable thirst it was quite a deal (back then our taste buds were still underdeveloped and we were basically power drinkers; goin’ for quantity instead of quality.)

As we entered the establishment the sounds of Enuff-Z-Nuff’s “High on a Real Thing” was blarin’ thru the speakers. “Oh… I love this song.” Jeff shrieked as he started singing along with the tune (As I’ve stated many times before Jeff ain’t the most manliest of men.) I went over to the bar and laid my Lincoln on the table. “Beer Bash,” I said to the bartender. “And hurry before he starts beltin’ out a George Michaels’ song.”

When the barkeep laid the mug down I started guzzling; you pretty much had to get the first one outta the way so you couldn’t taste the second one… or the third … or the …. Well you get the idea.

Jeff and I were sitting at one side of the bar while Norma and Jeff’s sister were setting on the other side. By the third beer Jeff was startin’ to get serious’ (Which for my stories, ain’t a good thing.)

“You know Scott?… I’m glad me and Norma ain’t together no more… All we did was fight and people don’t need to do that.” He said with a committed tone in his pansy voice.

Forth beer: “You know I don’t need her… I can get any woman I want… all I hafta do is this [attempts to snap his fingers]. (He honestly tried to snap his fingers but all he did was flip his cigarette across the bar.)
Fifth beer: “Awmagawd!! Well, I guess it could be nice, if I could touch you’re body. I know not everybody has got a body like you.” He was in his lil’ disco queen zone as I was bangin’ my head on the bartop wondering two things:

1. Is there such a thing as enough beer to block this shit out?
2. Can I use my belt as a hangman’s noose?

Sixth beer: (moment of clarity) “You know I’m glad me and her can still be friends… We where like buddies anyway and I can go on and do something more constructive with my life,” Jeff said. “Well, it sounds like you’re doin’ the right thing,” I said to my friend as I stopped hitting my head and thinking that this was the first time I can recall Jeff ever usein’ common sense.

Sixth and one half beer: Jeff was on the other side of the bar standin’ in front of Norma; unbuttonin’ his shirt as he did a Hootchie-Cootchie dance in front of her. I could tell by the way Norma’s jaw was clenched that she was about to rip his balls off (if he had any) and stuff them down his throat.

All of a sudden a devil was in my ear. “Don’t do anything… the rat bastard deserves to get his ass kicked… every time ya’ll go out and sumthin’ gets fucked up it’s Jeff fault.” And then an angel was in my other ear saying “Yeah fuck Jeff… all the cocksucker ever done was cause you grief.” So I decided not to listen to either one of them and I grabbed my friend by his arm and dragged him to the bathroom.

As I was about to read him the riot act, he goes berserk. He starts screamin’ and hittin’ the side of the bathroom stall; hittin’ the wall; hittin’ the soap dispenser; hittin’ the automatic hand dryer; and then he grabbed me by the arms and yelled “Scott…I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!”

I’m not an angry person or quick tempered but there are a coupla things one could do that would get me fightin’ mad:

1. Say that Glenn Frey was more talented than Don Henley.
2. Grab me.

“Jeff,” I said slowly and as calm as I could but inside I was about to get evil, “Get your hands off of me.” With tears in his eyes he said, “Scott you’re my friend… I would never hurt you.” With a slight chuckle I told him. “Your damn right you ain’t gonna hurt me… you gonna remove your fuckin’ hand’s right now or I will.”

Realizing what was about to happen he let go and sat on the floor sobbing. “Listen to me Jeff… You and Norma are never gonna be able to get along. Not as friends, not as lovers. Cut your loses and get over it. We’ll go to the other side of the bar and we won’t see her for the rest of the night. We’ll drink some beers and talk about strip clubs.” “You right Scott… you’re a true friend… I’m sorry.” And the bitch hugs me… in the bathroom just as a patron was walkin’ in and done a perfect u-turn back out when he saw us.

Being totally mortified, I grabbed Jeff by his arm and led him back out to the bar. As soon as his foot left the linoleum of the bathroom floor and touched carpet-firma he wrestled his arm out of my grasp and made a b-line straight to Norma and preceded to do the hootchie-cootchie part 2 the electric boogaloo.

“Fuck it!” I said and I got another beer and sat by myself already loosin’ whatever buzz I had because I could taste the beer again.

Thirty minutes or so Jeff’s sister came up to me. “Scott, I need you to do me a favor.” “Whatcha need?” I answered. “I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend … this guy I’ve been dancing with is startin’ to get too grabby.” And so with a weariness in my voice that belies my twenty-two years of life I said, “Sure … why not?” So she introduces me to her dance partner and he was a lil’ suspicious of her story.
“Why hasn’t he been dancing with ya?” He asked.
“Can’t dance… had half my foot cut off in a freak Saw Blade Frisbee accident … Oh and thank you for bringin’ up that painful memory, asshole.”

As I went on that rant I was thinking, “There is no way in hell this guy is gonna believe this four course line of shit I just put in front of him.” Romeo looked like he accidentally punched one of Jerry’s kids in the face and said “Sorry man, no harm o.k.?”

“Shit.” I thought, “Now, I’m gonna have to fake a limp for the rest of the night.”
“Thanks Scott… I owe ya one.” She said with a gleam in her eye.
“Now what in the hell was that suppose to mean.” I thought as I was tryin’ to kill that question with more alcohol.

Closing time and I got up and started gatherin’ up the lost lil’ sheep and as we had a nice four person single file line goin’, thinking every thing was goin’ to be o.k. As soon as we got out side Jeff starts pushin’ Norma and Norma bein’ the type of person that don’t take kindly to being pushed, pushed him back. We were at the car when the boilin’ point occurred. As Norma reared back to clock Jeff upside the head I was in process of grabin’ her from behind and her elbow caught me right square in the mouth, bustin my lip.

“Fuck!” I said as my head jerked back from the recoil. Then I notice something that I should’ve spotted as we were leaving but I was too focused into fakin’ a limp on my way out. Cop car about thirty feet away with two silhouettes inside. Man… I could feel them starin’ a hole in us getting ready to take all of us to the “Lock-M-Up” Hotel. When I whispered in to Norma’s ear, “Enough… there’s a Cop car over there… you need to calm down and get into the car.”

Well, that seemed to work. Norma got into the backseat on her own and some how durin’ all this ruckus Jeff is sprawled out on the pavement passed out. “Well… this solves one problem at least,” I was thinking to myself. So, Jeff’s sister and I picked Jeff’s bony ass up and put him into the passenger’s seat and pretty much figured that the night was done. All we had to do was go to our respected homes. (Sheeya… right.)

I sat in the back with Norma who was going through a very quite moment and I thought this would be a good time to try and talk to her because despite her taste in men, Norma was a friend of mine and I wanted to make sure she was in the right frame of mind.

“You’re sure your o.k.?” I asked her.
“ I’m fine.” She replied nonchalantly as she bent down into the floorboard to pick up a cigarette she dropped (or so I thought).
“Well good because when we all sober up we’ll laugh our asses off.”

No sooner than I got that sentence out of my mouth before I realized what she did. As she was feelin’ around in the floorboard for her cigs; she was actually searchin’ for the seat release to the front passenger side seat. A click rang out in the car like a gun shot. Before I knew what was goin’ on Norma brings her knee to her chin and started kickin’ the shit out of the back of the seat that Jeff was in screaming, “Tell me mother fucker, tell me!” Bang, Bang, Plok went Jeff’s head (the bang bang was from the dashboard, the plok was from the windshield.). “Tell me you fuckin’ asshole!” she screamed again as Jeff’s head bounced different parts of the car.

“Norma… calm the fuck down!” I yelled tryin’ to wrap my legs and arms around her so she wouldn’t kick Jeff any more but it looked more like a Karma Sutra position. I looked to the front to see if Jeff was all right. He wasn’t bleedin’ but the moonlight was glistening off the drool that was dripping from his mouth oblivious to what was happening to his noggin. “Great,.” I thought “With that many blows to the head he’s gonna be brain damaged … er more so.

We get to Norma’s house first and Norma gets out and opens the front passenger side door and grabs Jeff like those cavemen did in those old cartoons just after they hit the pretty young cave woman up side the head with a club and throws him over one shoulder a starts carryin’ him into her house.

“Norma,” I said with a lil’ quiver in my voice. “I don’t think this is a good idea.” She paused and turned around and with a look that would scare the shit out of Satan himself, she said, “Don’t worry… he’ll be all right.”

To quote Pontius Pilate “Fuck it… I wash my hands of this shit.“ (Well maybe not a quote more like a paraphrase I suppose, but anyway…) I went back to the car and told Jeff’s sister that she might have to get use to the idea that her lil’ brother was no more. (She seemed pretty cool about it, come to think of it.)

All was quite as we headed down hiway 41 on our way to my house and Jeff’s sister said “You tried your best.” “Thanks… I appreciate that, no offense but I hope she ties his ass to the bed and tortures him for a couple of days at least.” I said as I could feel the horns poppin’ out of my head.

“You seem more mature than Jeff’s other friends; he’s lucky to have a friend like you,” She said with that same gleam in her eye that she had earlier. “Huh… thanks.” I answered back with my hand on the door knob just in case I had to jump and roll out if this got any deeper. But fortunately we made it back to my apartment and we said goodnight and I went up and crashed on the bed.

The next day:
(Telephone ring.)
Me: Hello.
Jeff: Hey man… what’s goin’ on?
Me: Jeff?… You’re alive?
Jeff: Yeah, I’m alive. I just wanted to call and see if you wanted to go back to the Party Zone tonight with us?
Me: Us?… Who’s us?
Jeff : Well, me, Norma, and my sister.

CLICK

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A master of melody, hooks and conceptualization, Robert brings a diversity of his songs online which he plays, sings, records, and engineers himself. His songs are a product of spending his formative years playing in dive bars, pool halls, and every other joint that would hire him and his various bands to strap on a guitar. Raised on Rush, Iron Maiden, Elton John and the Beatles, his songs reflect his influences and the road rash that touring and life sometimes provide.

Robert said in an interview with Rock n Roll View, “My intention with the site is to be an outlet for my songs. I’ve written so many songs over the years and I’ve built my recording studio over time… I think it’s high time that I give other people the chance to hear some of this stuff that’s been keeping me up late. If I’m lucky, a few other people will find these songs interesting.”

The site has been online for a couple of weeks, and already archives almost enough music for two album. True to Robert’s influences, you’ll find songs that span many genres. Dawn you headphone or earbuds for Beatles-esque adventures, piano ballads, guitar driven angst, multilayered progressive, from pop to rock. The thread that binds all the songs together is the sophistication and maturity of the song writing.

You can listen to the songs of Robert B Mullins, read his lyrics and keep up with his life in the studio at www.rbmullins.com. Follow Robert using Twitter or RSS to keep up with the onslaught of rock n roll.

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1. Beer, Beer, Beer (The Clancy Brothers)

“Beer, Beer, Beer Tidily Beer, Beer, Beer”
While Charlie Mopps may be a myth of dubious proportions this fun song’s easy to remember chorus is always crowd pleaser.

2. Bugger off (The Dubliners)

“Like a Herd of Bloody Swine That Refuse to Leave the Trough, You’ll Get No More This Evening So You Bastards Bugger Off.”
The mock hostility between the band and the audience is what makes this great. The band: “Bugger off you bastards, bugger off” The audience: “Fuck you”.  Priceless.

3. Whiskey in the Jar (The Dubliners, Thin Lizzy, Metallica, and others)

“Whack For the Daddy ‘Ol , There’s Whiskey in the Jar”
Probably the most famous of all Irish folk songs and done in so many styles. You should be able to find a version that will fit any mood. Don’t worry, it’s all good.

4. Finnegan’s Wake (Dropkick Murphys)

“Woman to Woman and Man to Man. Shillelagh Law Was All the Rage”
While it’s an Irish folk song I love the Murphs version of it with the blending of traditional with the energy of punk.

5. Fairytale of New York (The Pogues with Kristy MacColl)

“You’re a Bum, You’re a Punk. You’re an Old Slut on Junk.”
I know, I know this is usually considered a Christmas song but this beautifully bitter sweet song about 2 lovers in the clutches of alcoholism and drug addiction. This song is so full of humor, joy, and heart break.

6. Seven Deadly Sins (Flogging Molly)

“We’re Seven Drunken Pirates; we’re The Seven Deadly Sins”
A modern sea shanty that was dedicated to Joe Strummer and a damn fun song to boot.

7. Irish Drinking Song (Buck O Nine)

“And Mary McGregor, Well She Was a Pretty Whore”
It’s been called “Drink and Fight”.  It’s been credited by Dropkick Murphys, Flogging Molly, and The Bouncing Souls, but this ska band from San Diego is the guilty party.

8. Down to the Old Pub Instead (Steven Lynch)

“She’ll Retain Her Water, Her Breast Will Be Tender, and Every Third Word That You Say Will Offend Her”
A great alternative for that time of the month.

9. Kiss Me I’m Shitfaced (Dropkick Murphys)

“I Play One Mean Guitar and Then Score at the Bar”
A song about a sad drunken braggart. I think if I had a theme song, this would probably it.

10. Worst Day since Yesterday (Flogging Molly)

“Hell Says Hello, Well it’s Time I Should Go”
Mixing Irish folk with Country and Blues makes this a great sing a long when you got a couple under your belt

Well, that’s it. I hope everyone has a great St Patrick’s Day and stay away from green Fucking beer.

In closing I want to leave you with an Irish toast.
“Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and a easy one.
A pretty girl and a honest one.
A cold pint… and another one.”

Until the next round,

D.B.

PS For some year around drinking songs, check out blackdog’s list of tunes he regularly pisses with at Beer Drinking Songs for Hell Raisers. If you happen to be drinking and have a naked chick with you, try Megannibus’ list of stripper songs.

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Rock n Roll View receives many requests for reviews, as you could imagine. We try to accommodate everyone. Some really good albums come across my desk. (The readers of Rock n Roll View see the best selection of those review requests.) Occasionally, we see those bands that really are something special. Voodoo Vegas is one of those bands

Voodoo Vegas hails from Bournemouth in southern England – the happiest place in the UK and a resort town. Bournemouth is probably the happiest place in the UK because they have such bands as Voodoo Vegas to sport in their clubs. Fronted by Lawrence Case, they have been called “The best band on the south coast of England today…” by Alan Burridge. This band hasn’t been around very long and is already supporting the Quireboys on tour and accumulating many accolades. If I may say, they have opened for Blue Oyster Cult, a seminal American hard rock band that did their part to invent heavy metal.

I’m not sure what Voodoo Vegas means, but I know what it sounds like. Listening to their Live CD, recorded at Mr. Kyps in Poole, many times, I’ve concluded that Voodoo Vegas is fueled by whiskey, fire, and your sister’s fanny. They pulled themselves out of the swaps of Louisiana, strutted on the Sunset Strip, pounded steel under English smokestacks and kept a wicked sense of humor in the process.

Sliding the Live CD in your CD player you’ll be greeted with some guitar feedback then the pounding drum of “Mary Jane”…this is rock n roll baby. “Out There” has got some killer riffage happening that’ll get your ass shaking and your head bobbing. “Perfect Girl” starts out like a sweet ballad, unless you are listening to the lyrics, with some detailed guitar work and desperate moans until it kicks you in the teeth. I personally bow down for this track, a well crafted song musically, written with tongue well planted in cheek. After nodding your head in agreement you’ll find “The Ferry Song” that starts out with a nice harmonica intro that rolls into a blues stampede. Before you pass out in an alligator deathroll, Voodoo Vegas let’s you get some oxygen with “The Ballad”. Lawrence’s voice really soars here. He’s got the voice you would expect him to have in a heavy metal band. Powerful with the ability to yank those emotions out of you and you’ll be happy for it. Now, we get to some serous boogie woogie and slide guitar with “So Unkind.” This is a song about a girlfriend that should have been punched and dumped. You can relate. Closing out the live set with the likes of “Jimmy Silver,” a little punk bombast, could have been born in a gutter in L.A. or in the back streets of London.

As a bonus track, Voodoo Vegas gives us an acoustic version of “The Ballad” recorded in the studio. This version of the song gives us some true insight to the abilities of the band. A good song and a good band will stand up on stage, in the studio, and acoustically. I’ll have to say, I’m impressed and you’ll be impressed.  We are left with the feeling of rock n roll satisfaction and the sense that this band has more to say to us. Voodoo Vegas Live is raw and explosive giving us a snapshot of what, I hope, will soon be a powerful force in rock music. They have the sound, the songs, the band, and the front man, after all.

Voodoo Vegas is:
Lawrence Case: Vocals and Harmonica
Nick Brown – Guitar
Ash Moulton – Bass
Chris Mackonochie – Drums
Merylina Hamilton – Guitar

Web site: http://www.voodoovegas.com
Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/voodoovegas

Check out the new music video for “So Unkind” over at HD Music Videos Online.

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Curley from “City Slickers” talked about such a woman. I’m pretty sure that Helen of Troy was one also.

I’m not talking about a pretty girl… they’re a dime a dozen…. with most women there’s at least one flaw that is so glaring that it keeps them from ever even coming close to glancing at; not to mention ever achieving.

It may seem like a strange subject for a couple of North Georgia Crackers in a “not so Irish” Irish pub to be discussing, but Donnie and I are capable of such debates… especially after a couple of pints of Guinness.

“Have you ever seen such a woman?” My friend asked.
“Oh indeed I have,” already falling back into my past.

Summer of 1997… Kind of a numb year for me. I was trying to adjust to my new found life as a bachelor after 7 years of marriage in which the last 2 years was more of apathetic routine than undying love. I was ready to get on with my life (Well to be more correct… trying to bullshit everybody else that I was trying to get on with my life… More accurately trying to bullshit myself.)

While my son and I were eating at a restaurant on that one faithful afternoon I ran into my cousin Tracy who I haven’t seen since the last family reunion … err I mean funeral.

“Scottie!!!!!” I heard with such joy and exuberance that it was hard for me to believe it was coming from a females lips. Scottie was the label that only my family called me; my ex-wife or my closest and dearest friends always called me Scott or Asshole.
“Tray… How ya doin?” I said with confused enthusiasm, because she looks so different, not in a bad/good way mind you, just different.
“You just hafta go out with me and my new boyfriend tonight ….we’ll go bar-hoppin’.” she said.
“Who’s your new boyfriend?”
“Oh, his name is Chad…. you’ll like him”

The relationship I had with my cousins was more like brother and sisters. We grew up around each other and always lived in close proximity. So my chances of actually liking this guy were the same chance of me winning the Georgia Lottery. (Especially since I rather keep the dollar than to waste it on a 1 in 100 million chance that lighting will strike…)

I met up with Tracy at her motel room at 6:30 PM that night and met her new beau Chad (let’s just say I’m glad I kept the dollar). “So where are we going?” I wondered out loud. “We’re going to Jimmy’s” Tracy said. “That’s just fuckin’ great,” I thought to myself. Jimmy’s is a place where all the mid-twenties people went to so they can be seen and be shallow with others of the same ilk. I figured that probably 90% of the parking lot would have those FUCKED-UP Volkswagen bugs that are so popular with new generation of upwardly mo-bile pricks.

“Great… let’s go.”

Upon entering Jimmy’s I had this sudden sensation to put a razor to my wrist and save myself the indignation of the night’s festivities. Before I could find a plug-in… “Scottie …. I want you to meet a friend of mine… Brad…this is Scott.”

“Hey big guy … how’s it going? “He asked. “Goin’ o.k. I guess….. Shit … where did Tray go?” I said. “Oh, she’s probably making the rounds……saying hi to everybody…You may not know this but I’m the bouncer here.”

“Oh really,” I asked as I looked down at the top of his already balding scalp.
“Yeah, I might not look like much, but I can hold my on when I need to.”
“I bet you can,” I mused. “This is just sucky,” I thought. “I’m stuck here with an Oompa-Loompa in a golf shirt with a fuckin’ chip on his shoulder.”
“So, what’s your poison Big-Guy?” he asked.
“Well, what do they have?”
“Anything you want, Big-Guy.”
“O.k., I’ll have a Newcastle.” He had the same look in his eyes that my dog used to get when I tried explaining the difference between the living room floor and the newspaper in the bathroom.
“What…?”
“Newcastle? … Guinness?” I was met with the same sound that Tim Allen used to use on Home Improvement.
“I’ll just go up to the bar,” I said.
“O.k., will see you later, Big-guy.”

I started making my way to the bar and the place was so crowded that I was constantly bumping into other people. “Oh excuse me.” “I’m sorry.” And the ever useful “uh-oh” was my shield. And it was like everybody I bumped into was reading for the same part in a play. “No problem Big-Guy,” they would answer.

“What’s this shit?” I thought. I’m 5′10 and 200 lbs., not small by any means but, everybody was acting like I’m Andre the fuckin’ Giant. And so these ladder-climbers christened me Big-Guy. Anyway, I finally make it to the bar.

“What’ll it be Big-Guy?” the bar-maid smirked.
“What kind of beer ya’ll got?” I fumed.
“Oh, we got anything you want.”
“Great…I’ll have a Newcastle.”

Once again, I was looked at with the same look my friend, Lee, got when I tried to explain to him that playing “saw blade Frisbee” was not a good idea.

“Guinness?” still nothing.
“What do you have that’s not a Miller, Coors, Michelob, or Budweiser?”
“We have Killian’s.” she said.
“Super…Killian’s then…” less than enthusiastic I answered.

Then a fellow bumped into me at the bar. I noticed he looked more out of place than I did. He was wearing blue jeans, t-shirt, and a dirty red baseball cap.

“Hey man…how ya doing?” He said cheerfully.
“Doin’ alright… How about you?” I returned.
“O.k., I guess. There’s a lot of pretty women running around here ain’t they.”
“Yeah… I guess …” I said as I saw two ladies who would probably blow you if you owned one of those new V W bugs coming out of the ladies room rubbing their Rudolf like noses.

“I’ve asked a bunch of them to dance but nobody wants to,” my newfound brother in awkwardness quipped. “Well, good luck man… See ya later,” I told him feeling good that I met someone in this god-forsaken place that didn’t call me Big-Guy. Then I ran into this gentleman and accidentally made him spill his beer. “Sorry, man,” I said sincerely. “Let me get you another.” “That’s o.k… you’re bigger than me …no prob… Big-Guy” “FUCK!” I yelled leaving that guy a little’ more than just puzzled.

The night was a total wash out…. and I was trying to come up with a good lie that I could tell Tracy… ya’ know the kind… the kind that you tell someone you care for deeply so you won’t hurt their feelings. Like, “No. Really. Grandma, I would love to have some hogs head cheese but I just had these stomach staples put in and I don’t want them to bust open.” Or, “No. Honey, I don’t mind you tying me up and clamping a battery charger to my testicles, but I left my batteries at the office and I don’t have enough gas to go back and get them.”

As I finally came up with a good lie and as soon as the first syllable was escaping my lips…

In she walked.

“Oh, glorious muse, grant me the ability to wrap wisdom around my tongue and let forth the nectar of eloquence to…to… ahhh, fuck it.” Really what could be said…. the same tired old clichés that are passed around like a funnel at a frat party. No, I don’t want to do her that injustice.

She kind of looked like Penelope Anne Miller, blonde hair, straight not quite shoulder length. She was wearing a tight, black dress that came about two inches above the knee with a split up the side that in itself would have made her a very pretty woman, but it was the way she flowed across the room . Space liquefied and blurred around her and I saw her with a focus so keen that I doubted my senses.

“Scottie … Come dance with me.” Tracy pleaded. As she dragged me across the dance floor, I looked over at the bar and saw the red ball cap of my brother in awkwardness. He gave me the thumbs up. I wanted to tell him, “No….no… no… You got it all wrong this is family,” but I don’t think that would have made a difference. In North Georgia, there are three dances that are acceptable to people of my ilk: 1. air guitar to a song, 2. head banging and/or Foot Tapping, and 3. the lame ass Caucasian/Bruce Springsteen “Dancing in the Dark” routine.

Looking around at my so-called contemporaries, I knew 1 and 2 was out of the question. As I was shaking my groove thing, my dear sweet cousin, who I still pictured as an 11 year old brat was more up to date on the latest dance steps, started gyrating in front of me. I’m in over my head; I thought and was praying to God that this was one of those 30 second songs that are so popular with the youngins. Point: 4 minutes later I was able to leave the dance floor and go and hide in a dark corner somewhere. Then I noticed “The Woman” again. She was playing darts and I could never think of a time when that game was so alluring to me. As she went to retrieve her darts, I noticed that her left foot came up ever so slightly off the floor as she looked behind her over her shoulder and gave her partner a smile that would have made even the sternest and most jaded of men to turn into that buzzard off the Bugs Bunny cartoon.

I sat and witnessed the rest of the night, nursing my third Killian’s, listening to really bad karaoke…. and watching. Not stalking mind you, just admiring.

As the night came to a close and Tracy getting closer to knowing the vomit fairy I noticed that “The Woman” was getting ready to leave. “O.k… if you don’t do it now… you’ll regret it for the rest of your life,” I said to myself.

“Excuse me,” I said sheepishly.
“Yes,” she turned and answered.
Do or die, Scott.
“I just have to say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” There I said it.
And with the same smile she gave her partner she said, “Thank you.”

And then I walked.

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Without beating that bush, I’ll say that I’m looking forward to obtaining these new releases. One of the reasons why I don’t play the Beatles more than I do, is because the current available CDs released in 1987 sound thin and muffled to me. As I’ve heard, the original vinyl releases sound much better. The new CDs promise to give a new listening experience and some of the early reviews support this (see below).

Personally, I’m interested in hearing the mono releases of the first few albums as they have never been available in a proper CD release. Not only am I interested in hearing them, I’m interested in comparing them to the new stereo releases to see which I like better. This is of interest to me because those first albums were recorded in mono. I understand that there will be no stereo imaging, but really has there ever been a good stereo image on these early albums.

My favorite albums are Abbey Road and the White Album so I am highly interested in hearing those. Who knows with the new remastering, I may add a couple more Beatles albums to my list of regular played albums.

Here are a couple articles from those who have heard them or at least previewed the releases:

Review: The Beatles remastered
Remastered Beatles CDs: A sneak preview
The Beatles 2009 Remasters Box Set at Amazon

The full press release issued in April follows:

THE BEATLES’ ENTIRE ORIGINAL RECORDED CATALOGUE REMASTERED BY APPLE CORPS LTD. AND EMI MUSIC FOR WORLDWIDE RELEASE ON SEPTEMBER 9, 2009 (9-9-09)

London, England – April 7, 2009 – Apple Corps Ltd. and EMI Music are delighted to announce the release of the original Beatles catalogue, which has been digitally re-mastered for the first time, for worldwide CD release on Wednesday, September 9, 2009 (9-9-09), the same date as the release of the widely anticipated “The Beatles: Rock Band” video game.  Each of the CDs is packaged with replicated original UK album art, including expanded booklets containing original and newly written liner notes and rare photos. For a limited period, each CD will also be embedded with a brief documentary film about the album. On the same date, two new Beatles boxed CD collections will also be released.

The albums have been re-mastered by a dedicated team of engineers at EMI’s Abbey Road Studios in London over a four year period utilising state of the art recording technology alongside vintage studio equipment, carefully maintaining the authenticity and integrity of the original analogue recordings. The result of this painstaking process is the highest fidelity the catalogue has seen since its original release.

The collection comprises all 12 Beatles albums in stereo, with track listings and artwork as originally released in the UK, and ‘Magical Mystery Tour,’ which became part of The Beatles’ core catalogue when the CDs were first released in 1987. In addition, the collections ‘Past Masters Vol. I and II’ are now combined as one title, for a total of 14 titles over 16 discs.  This will mark the first time that the first four Beatles albums will be available in stereo in their entirety on compact disc.  These 14 albums, along with a DVD collection of the documentaries, will also be available for purchase together in a stereo boxed set.

Within each CD’s new packaging, booklets include detailed historical notes along with informative recording notes. With the exception of the ‘Past Masters’ set, newly produced mini-documentaries on the making of each album, directed by Bob Smeaton, are included as QuickTime files on each album. The documentaries contain archival footage, rare photographs and never-before-heard studio chat from The Beatles, offering a unique and very personal insight into the studio atmosphere.

A second boxed set has been created with the collector in mind. ‘The Beatles in Mono’ gathers together, in one place, all of the Beatles recordings that were mixed for a mono release. It will contain 10 of the albums with their original mono mixes, plus two further discs of mono masters (covering similar ground to the stereo tracks on ‘Past Masters’).  As an added bonus, the mono “Help!” and “Rubber Soul” discs also include the original 1965 stereo mixes, which have not been previously released on CD.  These albums will be packaged in mini-vinyl CD replicas of the original sleeves with all original inserts and label designs retained.

Discussions regarding the digital distribution of the catalogue will continue.  There is no further information available at this time.

The Stereo Albums (available individually and collected in a stereo boxed set)
The stereo albums have been remastered by Guy Massey, Steve Rooke, Sam Okell with Paul Hicks and Sean Magee
All CD packages contain original vinyl artwork and liner notes

Extensive archival photos

Additional historical notes by Kevin Howlett and Mike Heatley

Additional recording notes by Allan Rouse and Kevin Howlett

* = CD includes QuickTime mini-doc about the album

* Please Please Me* (CD debut in stereo)
* With The Beatles* (CD debut in stereo)
* A Hard Day’s Night* (CD debut in stereo)
* Beatles For Sale* (CD debut in stereo)
* Help!*
* Rubber Soul*
* Revolver*
* Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band* (also includes 1987 notes, updated, and new intro by Paul McCartney)
* Magical Mystery Tour*
* The Beatles*
* Yellow Submarine* (also includes original US liner notes)
* Abbey Road*
* Let It Be*
* Past Masters (contains new liner notes written by Kevin Howlett)

‘The Beatles in Mono’ (boxed set only)
The mono albums have been remastered by Paul Hicks, Sean Magee with Guy Massey and Steve Rooke
Presented together in box with an essay written by Kevin Howlett
+ = mono mix CD debut

* Please Please Me
* With The Beatles
* A Hard Day’s Night
* Beatles For Sale
* Help! (CD also includes original 1965 stereo mix)+
* Rubber Soul (CD also include original 1965 stereo mix)+
* Revolver+
* Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band+
* Magical Mystery Tour+
* The Beatles+
* Mono Masters

Re-mastering the Beatles catalogue

The re-mastering process commenced with an extensive period conducting tests before finally copying the analogue master tapes into the digital medium. When this was completed, the transfer was achieved using a Pro Tools workstation operating at 24 bit 192 kHz resolution via a Prism A-D converter. Transferring was a lengthy procedure done a track at a time. Although EMI tape does not suffer the oxide loss associated with some later analogue tapes, there was nevertheless a slight build up of dust, which was removed from the tape machine heads between each title.

From the onset, considerable thought was given to what audio restorative processes were going to be allowed.  It was agreed that electrical clicks, microphone vocal pops, excessive sibilance and bad edits should be improved where possible, so long as it didn’t impact on the original integrity of the songs.

In addition, de-noising technology, which is often associated with re-mastering, was to be used, but subtly and sparingly. Eventually, less than five of the 525 minutes of Beatles music was subjected to this process. Finally, as is common with today’s music, overall limiting – to increase the volume level of the CD – has been used, but on the stereo versions only. However, it was unanimously agreed that because of the importance of The Beatles’ music, limiting would be used moderately, so as to retain the original dynamics of the recordings.

When all of the albums had been transferred, each song was then listened to several times to locate any of the agreed imperfections. These were then addressed by Guy Massey, working with Audio Restoration engineer Simon Gibson.

Mastering could now take place, once the earliest vinyl pressings, along with the existing CDs, were loaded into Pro Tools, thus allowing comparisons to be made with the original master tapes during the equalization process. When an album had been completed, it was auditioned the next day in studio three – a room familiar to the engineers, as all of the recent Beatles mixing projects had taken place in there – and any further alteration of EQ could be addressed back in the mastering room. Following the initial satisfaction of Guy and Steve, Allan Rouse and Mike Heatley then checked each new re-master in yet another location and offered any further suggestions. This continued until all 13 albums were completed to the team’s satisfaction.

New Notes/Documentaries Team

Kevin Howlett (Historical and Recording Notes)

Kevin Howlett’s career as an award-winning radio producer spans three decades. His music programmes for the BBC have included many documentaries about The Beatles, including ‘The Beeb’s Lost Beatles Tapes.’ He received a Grammy nomination for his involvement with The Beatles’ album ‘Live At The BBC’ and, in 2003, produced the ‘Fly On The Wall’ bonus disc for ‘Let It Be… Naked.’

Mike Heatley (Historical Notes)

Mike entered the music business via HMV Record Stores in 1970, transferring to EMI Records’ International Division three years later.  He eventually headed up that division in the early Eighties before joining the company’s newly created Strategic Marketing Division in 1984.  In 1988, he returned to International, where he undertook a number of catalogue marketing roles until he retired in December 2008.

During his career he worked with many of EMI’s major artists, including Pink Floyd, Queen, Kate Bush and Iron Maiden. However, during the last 30 years he has formed a particularly strong relationship with Apple, and has been closely involved in the origination and promotion of the Beatles catalogue, besides solo releases from John, Paul, George and Ringo.

Bob Smeaton (Director, Mini-Documentaries)

Bob Smeaton was series director and writer on the Grammy award winning ‘Beatles Anthology’ TV series which aired in the UK and the USA in 1995. In 1998 he received his second Grammy for his ‘Jimi Hendrix: Band of Gypsys’ documentary.  In  2004 he gained his first feature film credit, as director on the feature documentary ‘Festival Express.’ He subsequently went on to direct documentaries on many of the world’s biggest music acts including The Who, Pink Floyd, The Doors, Elton John, Nirvana and the Spice Girls.

Julian Caiden (Editor, Mini-Documentaries)

Julian has worked with Bob Smeaton on numerous music documentaries including ‘Jimi Hendrix: Band of Gypsys’ and the ‘Classic Albums’ series, featuring The Who, Pink Floyd, The Doors, Elton John and Nirvana among others. He has worked on documentary profiles from Richard Pryor to Dr. John to Sir Ian McKellen, Herbie Hancock and Damien Hirst and on live music shows including the New York Dolls and Club Tropicana.

The Abbey Road Team

Allan Rouse (Project Coordinator)

Allan joined EMI straight from school in 1971 at their Manchester Square head office, working as an assistant engineer in the demo studio. During this time he frequently worked with Norman (Hurricane) Smith, The Beatles’ first recording engineer.

In 1991, he had his first involvement with The Beatles, copy­ing all of their master tapes (mono, stereo, 4-track and 8-track) to digital tape as a safety backup. This was followed by four years working with Sir George Martin as assistant and project coordinator on the TV documentary ‘The Making of Sgt. Pepper’s’ and the CDs ‘Live at the BBC’ and ‘The Anthol­ogy.’

In 1997, MGM/UA were preparing to reissue the film ‘Yellow Submarine’ and, with the permission of Apple, asked that all of The Beatles’ music be mixed for the film in 5.1 surround and stereo. Allan requested the services of Abbey Road’s senior engineer Peter Cobbin and assistant Guy Massey and, along with them, produced the new mixes.

Two years later, he proposed an experimental stereo and surround mix of John Lennon’s song ‘Imagine’ engineered by Peter Cobbin. Following lengthy consultations with Yoko Ono, the album ‘Imagine’ was re-mixed in stereo and the Grammy award-winning film ‘Gimme Some Truth’ in surround and new stereo. This led to a further five of John’s albums being re-mastered with new stereo mixes and the DVD release of ‘Lennon Legend’ being re-mixed in 5.1 surround and new stereo.

Further projects followed, including The Beatles ‘Anthol­ogy’, ‘The First US Visit’ and ‘Help’ DVD and the albums ‘Let It Be…Naked’ and ‘Love’ along with George Harrison’s ‘Concert for Bangladesh’ DVD and album.

For a number of years now, Allan has worked exclusively on Beatles and related projects.

Guy Massey (Recording Engineer)

Guy joined Abbey Road in 1994, and five years later assisted on the surround remix for The Beatles film ‘Yellow Submarine.’ This led to The Beatles’ ‘Anthology’ DVD and later, along with Paul Hicks and Allan Rouse, they mixed and produced ‘Let It Be… Naked.’ In 2004 he left the studios to become freelance and has engineered The Divine Comedy: ‘Victory for the Comic Muse,’ Air Traffic: ‘Fractured Life,’ James Dean Bradfield: ‘The Great Western’ and Stephen Fretwell’s ‘Magpie,’ co-producing the last two.  Since leaving, Guy is still a vital member of the team, and has been the senior engineer for the re-mastering project and was responsible for surround and new stereo mixes for the DVD release of ‘Help!’

Steve Rooke (Mastering Engineer)

Steve joined Abbey Road in 1983 and is now the studio’s senior mastering engineer. He has been involved on all The Beatles’ projects since 1999. He has also been responsible for mastering releases by John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr.

Paul Hicks (Recording Engineer)

Paul started at Abbey Road in 1994, and his first involvement with The Beatles was assisting engineer Geoff Emerick on the Anthology albums. This was followed by ‘Yellow Submarine Songtrack,’ ‘Anthology’ DVD and ‘Let It Be… Naked.’ Like Guy Massey, he has also become a freelance engineer and since leaving the studios he has been responsible for the surround mixing of Paul McCartney’s DVD ‘The McCartney Years’ and The Beatles’ ‘Love.’ Paul has been in charge of the mono re-masters.

Sean Magee (Mastering Engineer)

Sean began working at Abbey Road in 1995 with a diploma in sound engineering. With a wealth of knowledge in analog and digital mastering, he has worked alongside Paul Hicks on the mono re-masters.

Sam Okell (Recording Engineer)

Sam’s first job as a member of the team was in 2006, assisting Paul Hicks on Paul McCartney’s DVD ‘The McCartney Years,’ and during that same year he was responsible for the re-mastering of George Harrison’s ‘Living In The Material World’ CD along with Steve Rooke. This led to him restoring the soundtrack to the Beatles film ‘Help!’ in surround and stereo, in addition to assisting Guy Massey with the song remixes.

Sam has re-mastered ‘With The Beatles’ and ‘Let It Be.’

Simon Gibson (Audio Restoration Engineer)

Simon joined Abbey Road in 1990. He has progressed from mastering mostly classical recordings to include a much wider range of music, including pop and rock, with his specialized role as an audio restoration engineer. Apart from the re-mastering project, his other work includes George Harrison’s ‘Living In The Material World,’ John Lennon’s ‘Lennon Legend,’ The Beatles’ ‘Love’ and the ‘Help!’ DVD soundtrack.

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Note: The Drunken Bastard himself doesn’t wake from his drunken stupor often for an album review, but after learning that his long-time friends and drinking buddies of the Dagg Nabbit Stubbs were releasing an EP from the belly of the Georgia swamps he couldn’t resist. With a fresh jug of corn whiskey, D.B. wrote this:

Some people sell their soul to the Devil and prosper from it (Robert Johnson, Jimmy Page, Marie Osmond), while others (Vanilla Ice, Oral Roberts, Donny Osmond) are less successful. My deal was for a twelve pack of New Coke and a sequel to the movie “Highlander” … maybe I need to renegotiate.

Hailing from Swampwater, Georgia (Like there’s such place called Georgia.) and with their debut E.P. “Hot Garbage,” The Dagg Nabbit Stubbs are able to not only make a rockin’ CD but also a fun one as well. The lead in song called “The Devil’s Work” tells of their own contract negotiations with “Old Scratch” and getting to ride in his invisible jet (jealous yet?). “Devlin’ Under the Influence” is a jammin’ road ditty that makes you want to get out your drinkin’ jar and pick up your special needs cousin Ronnie and go crusin’ down Satan’s highway.

“The Devil’s Dance Party” mixes square dancing with heavy rock and “Footloose” references (six degrees of Kevin B.) and if you ever wondered about the details of “carnie” love then take a gander at “You and me and the Devil makes Four” and you’ll wonder no longer.

“These Pancakes are Made with the Devil’s Bisquick” tells the tale of one man’s epic battle against a one hundred pound bass called “The General.” The final track on this heavy drop-d tuned redneck rock fest, “The Devil and Peter Graves“: If a song about everybody’s favorite A&E Biography host (Fuck You Jack Perkins! You know why.) doesn’t light your fire then your woods are wet.

So did The Dagg Nabbit Stubbs get a good deal from Beelzebubba? Really, only time will tell but with their blues/country/rock sound, and their harmonizing along with the occasional diva like outburst the Ouija Board is pointing to yes.

Sample a track from Dagg Nabbit Stubbs – Hot Garbage
Devilin’ Under The Influence
Download audio file (Dagg Nabbit Stubbs – Hot Garbage – Devilin’ Under The Influence.mp3)

Visit The Dagg Nabbit Stubbs at their Web site to learn more about swamp culture and the band:
The Dagg Nabbit Stubbs Web site
On Myspace Music

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Who is Wolfgang and why does he have a vault? Wolfgang was Bill Graham (born Wolfgang Grajonca in Berlin in 1931). Bill Graham was the mid-wife of the modern rock n roll show. At the Fillmore West, Graham introduced audiences to the likes of Jefferson Airplane, The Grateful Dead, Otis Redding, Janis Joplin and many others. Graham was the concert promoter that the artists and musicians loved because he looked after them and the audience together to put on memorable shows allowing the musicians control of their stage show. Graham just didn’t just put on a show; he put on a rock n roll experience. Bands such as Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, The J. Geils Band, and many others graced his Fillmore stages. It is this archive of live performances that Graham promoted that is the backbone of Wolfgang’s Vault along with the performances from other archives such as the King Biscuit Flour Hour.

What’s in this vault you keep talking about? Live music, memorabilia such as posters, vintage t-shirts, photos, vintage tickets, and more from your favorite artists of the 60’s, 70’s on up to last month. The concept is simple but brilliant. Wolfgang’s Vault makes available for free the streaming of over 2300 hundred live performances and over 1300 artists with new shows being added all the time. Many of the shows can be purchased as high bit rate MP3s for your enjoyment anytime. Some shows are available for free download. You should subscribe to their email newsletter for announcements on such free shows.

This sounds good, but are there any artists that I have heard of? The short answer is:  It all depends on which rock you have been living under. If you have ever heard of bands like the Allman Brothers Band, The Grateful Dead, Kiss, Blue Oyster Cult, Eric Clapton, Thin Lizzy, and Lighting Hopkins then you might have heard of a few of the bands that are represented.

What do these concerts sound like? Are these recording third or fourth generation audience recordings or something? Are you kidding me? The concerts come from original masters when possible and professionally recorded by real sound engineers. The steaming quality is as good as or better than satellite radio. Every recording that I have personally listened to is very listenable and some are exceptional.

Am I going to get arrested for illegal music downloading if I listen to this free live music? Wolfgang’s Vault is licensed by BMI, ASCAP, and SESAC. Every time you listen the artist is paid even if you are listening for free. Think of it as radio on demand without the annoying DJ. With that said, Wolfgang’s Vault relies on the sale of memorabilia and rock n roll artifacts to keep the music free.

OK. That’s a lot stuff to think about. What are some of the drawback? Now that you ask, there is only one drawback for me. I personally like the highest sound quality possible. The downloadable concerts are only available in high bit rate MP3s and no lossless formats. These high bit rate MP3s are probably good enough for live recordings, but I worry that I’m not hearing everything. Honestly, I can live with this, but a lossless option would make the downloads more desirable for me.

The bottom line is that Wolfgang’s Vault is a remarkable resource for free live music with the option to buy some great memorabilia and adding live performances of your favorite artists to your music collection.

• Legendary concert performances available at Wolfgang’s Vault
• Other Free Live Music on the Web

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Hi. How’s it goin’?

Me? Well glad you asked.

Went over to my friend Donnie’s house a coupla weeks ago (to catch up with what’s been goin’ on in his neck o the woods.) and in the commencement of small talk my friend got an evil lil’ grin across his face and asked.

“Guess what I got?”

Knowing Donnie like I do there was no telling what he had.

“Syphilis?” I answered.

“No Fuck-Wad… it’s a lil’ blue pill.”

Now good readers I’m not up on prescription medicine so I had no idea what he was talking about.

“I got some Viagra.” He answered.

Now, Donnie is younger than me and this came as a shock that he would need the stuff.

“Damn… sorry man… I didn’t know you were havein’ problems downstairs.”

I told him with the utmost concern.

“No man… I don’t, but Kenny gave me some and I was goin’ to see if they worked or not; think of it as a scientific experiment.” my friend was telling me.

“Well? Did it work?” I asked him.

“Yeah kinda… I couldn’t tell much difference, but I think it did.” He said soundin a lil’ unsure.

“Well that’s good.” I said.

Then after an uncomfortable silence Donnie said.

“You want to try one?”

I’m not one for drug experimentation but remembering that my girlfriend at the time was feelin a lil’ amorous when I left her an hour ago. I made my decision.

“Yeah sure… an eight hour hard on is an eight hour hard on.”

So Donnie gave me the lil’ blue pill and with the mannerisms of a neighborhood pharmacist he said “Okay… you’ll need to wait about 40 minutes before you engage in sexual activity… be careful not to get up to fast or it’ll make you dizzy… and for this experiment to work; you can’t tell her anything about it.”

“Uh… Okay.” I said; I was actually thinking “Damn… what did I get myself into.”

What some people will do in the name of science.

Anyway, I went home and got myself a shower and proceeded to the love chamber and sure enough I was sportin’ some north Georgia pine, and crawled in bed with my lovely lady and as I snuggled up to her she say’s “My stomach is crampin’… can we do it tomorrow instead?”

Panic sets in. “No… we can’t… we gotta do it right now.” I said almost hysterically.

“I’m afraid I can’t tonight.” she answered back, “I promise you … tomorrow night.”

“But you don’t understand… we got to do it tonight.” I said almost to the point of beggin’.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” she said more than a lil’ annoyed.

Okay… time to fess up. “I took some Viagra.” I said embarrassedly.

“Why… you don’t need it?.” She said.

“I know I don’t need it but the opportunity came up, so to speak, and I figured what the hell, I mean it ain’t like I’m doin’ Blotter Acid or anything like that.”

“Well… did it work?” she asked.

“You tell me,” I said and thinking ,”Good I got her curiosity peaked.”

“Yeah, it seems to work,” she said. “Well… goodnight.”

And I was shut down. She rolled over onto her stomach and I thought, “Damn … wish I could do that.” But unfortunately I had to sleep on my back because when I tried to roll over my Willy would do a kick stand deal and would cause me to feel discomfort.

Six hours later I woke up.

“Top of the morning to you,” my penis said to me.

“I guess it worked.” I thought to myself.

“So … what are we gonna do today? I don’t know about you but I’m feelin absolutely energized,” it seemed to say to me as I was getting dress for work.

“Watch out for the zipper.” It reminded me.

But guess what?

30 minutes later I was pullin’ into work and as soon as I passed the guard shack my hard on disappeared. The irony of the situation was not lost on me.

Until the next round,

The Drunken Bastard

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There aren’t many that don’t know, but for the sake of this review, I’ll give just a brief history of Heaven & Hell. Heaven & Hell is the Ronnie James Dio fronted Black Sabbath featuring Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler, and Vinny Appice. Ok, now that we have that over with… After Ozzy was fired from Black Sabbath, Dio was hired to provide vocals and song writing. Black Sabbath with Dio went on to record two of the most highly regarded Black Sabbath albums, Heaven and Hell and Mob Rules. After the release of a live album Dio left the band and went on to a highly successful and influential solo career, while Black Sabbath floundered a bit with many singers, but still managing to produce some memorable albums. Dio rejoined the band for the brutal Dehumanizer and promptly resumed his solo career.

Ozzy rejoined Black Sabbath for a tour that was highly praised and highly successful. Ronnie James Dio, to the dismay of many fans, swore that he would never sing in Black Sabbath again. Fast forward to Heaven & Hell. The parties were brought together for the release of the Dio era Black Sabbath box set. This apparently got the gears turning and the Dio fronted Black Sabbath became Heaven & Hell. They set out on a tour that then became another tour that then became The Devil You Know. Ronnie James Dio has never sung in Black Sabbath again.

If there was ever a guitar player that invented pure heavy metal it was Tony Iommi. If there was ever a singer that defines what is mystical, otherworldly and fantastic in heavy metal it was Dio. Not to leave out Geezer, who has been a creative driving force in Black Sabbath from the very beginning. Appice has payed his dues and is a stall worth drummer of hard rock.

From the opening drum roll and the classic Iommi chug and the weeping voice of Dio on “Atom and Evil”, I know I’m in for a treat. Half way through the first song, I’m scared in only the way that Black Sabbath, er, Heaven & Hell can scare me.  Then there is “Fear” taking me on a journey to something foreboding and heavy. There is such a thing as a distorted groove that entangles you bringing up emotions of nightmare. This is Heaven & Hell. I get to relax a bit with the acoustic opening of “Bible Black”, but I know that this is only temporary and I wait with anticipation. Anticipation for the song to rip my soul out with steel talons… The forth track , “Double the Pain” begins with creepy drowning sounds before launching into what I would consider the most commercial track on the album. This is a “nice” catchy song about torture and pain. So, by commercial I don’t mean that you will catch this tune on your local Clear Channel radio station.  When you have this album in your collection, go ahead and sing along.

“Rock n Roll Angel” comes on like a classic Dio song with a classic Dio chorus, but Geezer really stands out on this track with a bass line that harkens back to John Entwistle of the Who. On “Follow the Tears” we are treated to some church organ and a military allusion in the drums until Iommi stuns us with his distorted rasp. “Come lie on a bed of nails and slumber/ Rise up but the hands will pull you down/ My sunshine is wind and rain and thunder” are the opening lyrics of maybe the best song on the album. Dio’s lyrics are the most poetic and powerful allowing me to create images in my head like a waking dream. Iommi may provide the best solo on this song, but let’s face it, solos aren’t why we listen. It is the atmosphere and the emotion and the things that he stirs in our souls. The album closes out with “Breaking into Heaven”. This may be one of the most memorable songs on the album just for the chorus. I think that Dio and the band may be delving into a heavy subject matter. As with most Black Sabbath and Dio songs, the meaning is what you might think it is. This is probably a social commentary, but I will let you decide that. One of the beauties of this band’s songs whether it was with Ozzy, Dio, or someone else, you are always allowed to do your own interpretations. That fact remains true.

Heaven & Hell – The Devil That You Know is an amazing album that belongs in your collection of Black Sabbath and Dio. There is no filler material here. Each song has its merits and as an album, it works masterfully. Time will only tell if this one becomes a classic. I suspect that it will. Dio’s voice is not at its most powerful, but his writing may be at its most consistent. The only thing that I miss is the heavy metal epic like “Sign of the Southern Cross”. If you are a heavy metal fan, bow down to the masters on this one.

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